Post by Jerod W. Rickert on Nov 11, 2007 17:34:33 GMT -5
Earlier this year, I was going through a time of struggling and questioning within my personal life. Not a questioning of God's existence or His care or His mighty, glorious power, just of my own place in it. During my pity-party, I asked Dad how it was possible for Him to love me the way He claims to. I needed affirmation of His love for me, and my own inability to look past my own faults was making seeing it ver, very difficult. Well, as I've stated so many times, "Be careful what you pray for...". Over the course of several weeks and even carrying over occasionally to now (mainly when I doubt Dad's loving kindness), He began to open my eyes. Now, I'd LOVE to say that's a figure of speech and just a poetic way to phrase what occured, but unfortunately (and I thank you, precious Lord, that it isn't) it is a literal occurence. I began to find, at times, that as I interacted with my children, that I would find myself overcome beyond my ability to express in words. I remember times just standing in awe, tears streaming down my face, unable to even speak the words of love that I felt for my 4 beautiful children at those moments. The breaking point for me came one evening as my "charming little angels" were letting their horns come to the surface. Now, my "pet sin" and my area of biggest weakness is an angry streak born of impatience (please keep me lifted in your prayers... take that, Satan, hard to hold me captive, when things are show to the Light... sorry, I digressed). On this particular evening, the kids had been asked, told, begged, commanded, cried at, yelled at to lay down and go to bed as it was a school night. As the clock approached 10, so did my temper on the Rickert Scale. I want storming up the stairs to "take care of the problem", only to have that same feeling wash over me as I entered their room. Literally brought to my knees and unable to speak, I was struck with just how intrinsically much I could love them even at that moment when their disobedience had me the most tied up in knots. And right then and there, God spoke to my heart: "Oh, my precious child, now do you see how much I love you? You are incapable of being bad enough to sway My heart for you. There is nothing you are capable of doing that even makes Me waver. 'Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to yout children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!' (Matt 7:9-11, NKJV)" You are never far from the heart of the Father and are always right in the very Apple of His Eye. Thank you for joining me this month and I look forward to sharing with you again soon. Next time, we will be lookng at a correlation of things that has been revolutionizing my relationship with my children and my wife. While I've not yet arrived (ask my family, LOL), God has been breaking and rebuilding at a wonderful (if not painful at times) rate. Please read 1 Corinthians 13 (the whole short chapter) and 1 John 4:7-11, and next time we will begin to explore the beauty of Love. Feel free to contact me at weirdjerod@yahoo.com